its all good., its all hood...

walk through a bigger block, two glocks, two techs, two 2'3's-
give a bitch what he really wants, when bitch clicks dont want beef,
bitch clicks don't want me!, i just wait till they get in range.
hate it when a bitch runs his mouth out ,
''lives his life in pain''

we aint even used to this 'talkin'

where the gun shots at???

loose lips, same shit ,, you bitch's didn't even pop back...

ho lord, i swore, if any mother-fucker ever hollard my name,

i'm Raw spelt backwards, thats what i'm gonna bring....

thats what Phaze thinks, we got guns and troops,

every thing bulletproof, snypers laid down on the roof....

stash box in the coupe, i'm tellin you the truth,

i raised them little itty bitty boys , all they wanna do is come shoot....

black gloves, black mask, black shirt, black pants,

blue steel, blue vest , heated , you next...

put a couple of holes in a ho, let a buster know hes about to go,

put the punk right to his throut bet he wont talk no more,.

i'm comin through the front door, mask on lets ride.

everybody on the mother-fuckin floor as soon as i get inside.

my hood, my click, yr wife , my bitch.

show a fool you really love him and set him up for a good lick..

the cops are comin, an i'm out runnin .

if i do die, dont cry. i aint planning on stayin here long any how i anit gonna lie..

wounder why i've still got bricks? wounder why i've still got clips??

cuz aint a damne thing changed since young phaze done got rich..

are you ready for the outcome? why you walking around without a gun??

this shits real when a friend gets killed, then you wanna run and get one,.

fuck that,,, i'm callin out names,!

- _ _ _ _ _ 's.

black gloves, black mask, black shirt, black pants,

blue steel, blue vest, heated, you next....

its your move bitch, I dont even care how it started,

fuck me, fuck you!!!

wait till i get home we'r really gonna get it on, but for now just hold on,

i'm gonna really show you how to break a bone..

longford to the key, we here for life,

COV Unit......

court.

court day was on. and this was quite a big thing for me as it wasn't a normal court day.

this time i was not able to be repersented as i was not granted leagal aid and i could not afford a solicitor.

so i repersented myself!

i had all the info,, all the police reports and statments from all witnesses includin my own.

it was quite scary as i had to revise all this paper work.(just like bein back at school)lol.

we entered the court room and on the opposition was a barister(you know? them pricks with the wigs).

a solicitor , two asistent silicitors and the managers from the housin office i was rentin the flat off.

then there was just me!

i had revised the paperwork and read all the statments from front to back.

i was quite nervous as it was all new to me, not court but just not havin a solicitor to lean back on..

as the judge walked in my heart dropped as i thought he would take one look at me and laugh and then i would be kicked out of my flat.

it started off with the charges againt me which sounded worst than it actully was, but this didn't bother me as i knew the routine. then it was time to bring in the wittnesses and the solicitor for jephson housing was asking them questions and the answers were all lies.....

they were just trying to get me out as they were making the flats where i lived into house's.

the first wittness was 'Gary's' wife and she came out with all kinds of shit, sayin it was me that started the fight and that she was there the whole time and watched me''attack'' her husband...

then i had to ask the queations and ross examine her,. and i remembered a line in her statment that stated her leading her children away fron where myself, Gary and Rich colided. and that she had heard me making the first punch,,lol. if three people are fightin? then without you being there then how can you hear who took the first punch???its impossible and the judge knew it as well, so her bollocks was chucked straight out the window..

the second wittness was gary, and he was just as stupid.

he came out with a load of crap sayin i had shouted abuse across the street at his seven year old daughter after getting off the bus, so he came out to investigate and saw me drunk and aparently when i saw him i went over and started the fight. but i had my own witness for that. a shop keeper who saw it all and one of the questions that was put to him was that , if he had know gary for ten years and me for six months, then why would he protect me?? and his answer was '''because its the truth'''

so that was gone aswell.

i had another wittness called stacey who was quite young at the time so jephsons solicitor tried to pick on her and seek the real truth, but as WE was tellin the truth he didn;t know wot to say.. he was calling her a lier and tryin to break her down and i think the point as when the judge stopped it as when stacy turned round and said-

''well you wern't fuckin there was ya!!!!''

and the whole court uproared as the prosicution was beat by a 14 year old..

then it was the grand finarly, wher each side says their version of events after they peice their story together,.

their story was simple, i had got off the bus in a bad mood and saw gary and 'kicked off' and that rich had no club and that he wasn't even there....

but when i read the statments with the addresses, i noticed that rich lived above the pub in the square called the couch and horses''. so my story was that when gary daughter saw me getting off the bus, she then went back to the pub to tell her dad and thats whenn rich went upstairs to his room an go the club an then they both came lookin for me.. an that was the jist of it..

i ended up winning the case and jephsons had to pay £14,000 court an solisitor costs and was warned that if they ever brought a case to tril again without lookin into detail then they would be chared for waistin court time..

i really dont think they bothered me again neither gary's family or jephsons.

Black gloves!!(''raw'' spelt bakwards)fuck me! fuck you!!

SCHOOL is over, and this is where it all started. Drugs, crime and all sorts of activite's.
i remember a house party that wasn't like your avarage party.... when we done it, we done it with style.

i was hanging with some of the local lads and we new how to have fun. i was a young and out of control lad with the balls of a 30 year old and mates to go with it. i was never a thief so when i say ''crime'' i dont mean that sort of stuff, but i mean ''i saw a lot'' we were doin drugs like the sort of stuff u c in films, carrier bags full of weed or kilos of soap bar, our partys would contain people of all races 'wanted or not', dogs chained to the front and back gates to the house as a warning to any one who wanted to enter. there would be certain ''meat heads'' situated around the house just in case people would disrespect. some would carry heat and others just C.S gas but most were big enough just to use man made wepons''FISTS''.

the best party we had consisted of about 60 odd people, every room in the house was full, front and back garden too.

even though i have done and seen alot i am sittin here(with a beer) tryin not to bore you, thinking of different situations in my life but i am finding it hard to put in order for you to read,. different times i remember lead me to something else i remember.......(so please bear with me)

im mainly righting this blog to release my anger in words rather than force, as the ''later'' tends to get me in trouble with the law and even locked up in some cell or prison... i have been locked up in a cell for a weekend so many times it was like a second home. alot of it was for stupid drunken stuff like- bein walked home by a copper to my door because i was drunk and pulling out a bag of weed instead of my house keys,lol. i mean, how stupid is that?

other time i used to get drunk or druged up and have to find a way to release my anger usin different levels of force or violonce. wether it be smashing property (wether it be mine or someone elses).

when i lived in my own flat in Sydnall fields, longford,coventry on a small estate is when i was proberly my worst time of being lonley and out of control. many times i was in court for violance and going in and out of jail for fights, but i didn't learn. people just would not leave me alone and stay off my back!!!

i got fucked by the law once when i saw this guy hitting on his wife one night outside my flat. and i saw it.

i shouted to him out the window and he just shouted abuse back to me. so i went out..

i told him how i felt and warned him, but he took no notice and laughed at me...

MISTAKE!!!

i confronted him and he hit me twice in the face, i didnt feel a thing!" i just stood to the side and hit him twice with the left hand, took a step back and gave him ''whats called a Tyson punch'' as recalled by a friend who saw it,.

and BOOM!!! with the right and knocked him clean out on the floor like a baby,.

i got nicked that night and was released the next mornig on bail and just as i was getting the bus back to the square i was walking past the Londis shop when i saw this guy again,. i just carried on walking as if nothing had happened but he had oviously not forgot that easly. but this time he was with a friend who was armed with armed with half a golf club. i think they were on their way round mine anyway..

they stopped and turned towards me and the lad with the bat said ''this has got your name all over it!!''

i just laughed........

gary(the 1st one) came at me!

i just moved and dropped him in one, then it was rich's turn....

he came at me and swung his club towards my face, i took a step back and then kicked him in the jaw putting him to the floor.... then i turned my attention to Gary who was just gettin to his feet, so i stopped him in mid track and got him by the scruff of the neck and continuosly punched him to the face, holding him so he couldn't fall.

then some guy pulled me off(his way of helping me). by this time Rich was comeing at me again.

so i said to this guy holding me in a calme voice

''are u gona hold me and let me get hit??''

without an answer he just let go while i kicked this man a second time in the face from a standin position..

then he held me again,lol...

i went back to court fof this...

i really did think i was going back to jail for this,. ''maybe there is a god''

secondary school, capter 1

This might turn out to be a small chapter as i didn't really do much. I was a small quiet lad, in a big loud school. I came from a school of about 100 people to about 1,400 pupils and again i was one of the smallest and youngest. i didnt smoke or drink, or take drugs so i wasn't in their crew, i didn't steal so i wern't in that one but the main thing was that i was from the 'jock'. and bedworth and the jock was in constant war with each other....

many times we made the front page for being in 'gang welfare' and it wasn't nice because now i had to go to school with them at nicholas chamberlaine! i wanted to go where my friends were at ashgreen, but my mum had moved house and the ashgreen school was too far away.

this got me off to a bad start, being in small fights or being bullyed by the older lads which was hard at times. not really talking to any one was a routine in my average day. as time went by i started to stand up for myself a little more and began to 'lose it' in little scraps. the thing was that when someone trys to bully you, all they want is a reaction and i could never give that as like before, i had been hit by a bigger and harder man than them so i was used to it and it never bothered me but i would bottle it up so WHEN i did explode i would blank out and just do things that wern't normal for a school boy to do...
the main events that i remember is once when some kid had started on me and i didn't retaliate so he kept on hitting, till i turned round and punched him in the throut and tried choking him.
that got me a detention and a letter home.
then once a lad tryed winding me up in technology by throwing small bits of wood at me, bout the size of a dice. Till i picked up the biggest block of wood i could find and smashed him over the head with it.... that got me susspended.
then there was a lad who (as i smoked by this time) tried to steal my fags and kept punching me till i gave in and gave them to him, but in the end as a final resort i put his head through a classroom window in the maths corridor and split his face in half . I was lucky not to get kicked out for that..

the thing was, that i had a lot of anger inside me which i didn't show but i was kind, and people take kindness as a weakness and didn't realise that the people around me were on 'thin ice'.

i still wasn't classed as hard(and i didn't want to be) but people would treat me differently. i was always honest though, and i kept my word. it reminds me as when a couple of lads in sixth form, ie: the oldest in the school were kicking the football at me when i was having a smoke round the back of the sports hall , so i turned round and said,

''if you do that again then i'l pop it''

so they laughed and kicked it at me, so i grabed the ball and took my compass from my pencil case and popped the fucking ball, then put it in the bin and walked off...

going back to my anger isuse's, i had questions i wanted to ask my dad about my past but i couldnt, as he died of heart desease in 1992(when i was just 12years old) an this is what channeled my anger in some degree because thats when i fell apart. but to add to that i had a new stepdad that even though he never touched my mum, he used to beat on me and he was bigger than my real father..(his storys will follow)

through out secondary school i just kept on getting into more trouble and i just couldn't wait to leave. i was out of control, swearing at teachers, smashing windows, throwing tables and chairs during lesson because i found questions hard to answer. you name it ? i had done it. but when the besst day of my life came, (the last day of school) i was nowhere to be seen...

last day of school

the last day off school is always something to remember, and belive me i did.
i was in hospital!!!
it started the night before and a guy i know as steave was having trouble with his ex-girlfriend as her new partner would not let him see his daughter and on the last occasion of him going round his baby mothers house,in percil avenue(nuneaton) the lad was waiting for him in the ally leading to the back entrance of the house with a knife...

he grabbed steave and put the blade to his throut and warned him 'never to come round again'

well, as soon as we heard this then that was it. we got some boys together and two cars drove to nuneaton in search of these lads. we knew roughly where they would be so just drove round a couple of times till we found them. we left the cars in the middle of the road,(still running) and charged down to the park area where they were hanging out.there was quite a few,more than us but many of them fled like rabbits into bushes and over fence's and the one that stayed, including the one we wanted got one hell of a kicking..

like i said, i wasn't hard but i was honest and loyal. and steave was our boy.

on the way back to the ticking cars we noticed groups of men coming out of random houses, so we paced harder, then they ran, so did we.

the first car was a pergeot GTI , that was off! the second was a XR3i and my mate jumped in first and i had to sit on his lap as there was no time to click the seat foward again..

but as i closed the door and shouted ''GO, GO, GO''

the seat belt got caught in the door so it would not close properly. so i held it shut.

as we were in full wheel-spin action with smoke coming from both wheel arches,

'BOOM'

the back windows go through!!!

then we get grip and 'BOOM' there goes my side, hiting me over the head.

the door wich i was holding flung open and i fall out holding onto the front seat with my legs dragging on the concrete..

i'm shouting ''Keep Going, Keep Going''

then the final hit..................'BOOOOM'.

the drivers side goes through and the already, unsteady car swerves a glass goes in his face and we colide with a parked Green Montego( i only know this from the police report)

an the door slams on me crushing my legs and i'm sent flyin over two parked cars an left for dead in the middle of the road.

i remember wakeing up and trying to stand to my feet saying i was ok, with people surrounding me. but i just fall back down. i remember wakeing up again, but this time i'm in hospital....

Introduction- abit about me.

i was just a normal kid growing up, never over populer but always liked. i started my life in longford,coventry on a street named Jackers road with my mother and farther (dianne and steve). i dont remember much but i know times were hard epsecialy with my dads drinking,
but we carried on. it was then that we moved to a housing estate called Bedworth heath but know as the Jock estate, this was because there was a pit where before my time the scotish came to work. our house was on school lane (the nice part) and i went to Newdigate first shool at the top of the estate (the rough part). it was there that i remember my dad drinking rather heverly and i remember the violence getting worse towards my mother and myself. this carried on for quite some time and got worse and worse. some off the things i remember i really dont want to talk about but maybe you get the picture of how bad it really was....
finally enough was enough and my parents split and my dad moved out,(we'l get back to him later) eventually my mother and i had to move out as the bills were too high for a single parent so we moved closer to my school on newdigate road. this was like boarder line to the rough area, as soon as you got on the corner of mavor drive and walked up abit, each step you took you could see more and more boards over the windows and broken glass. cars that were burnt out and just left there or a couple of kids smashing it up abit more with bricks and sticks, bikes left in the middle of the road all bent up, not wanted, just left there. i was in middle school by now and just the usual, getting in to trouble with teachers and having detentions. all kids go through it just maybe more than others but at that age life is like a game of football, you win some games and you lose some. You get detention, you don't , you smash the window that yr aiming for with the football or you dont, you get caught or you don't its all the same. the same goes for fighting i surpose as in you win or lose and even at a young age i had seen some fights and had a couple myself but it wasnt like today where you just run up and smack someone, oh no this was planed to the finest detail , who was fighting who and wot time and where. and if your mum was picking you up from school then we would arange for the next day and so on. we would always meet half hay down mavor drive at an alley we called The jitty' we would have watchers at either end and some over the bigger lads ontop of the garages keeping an eye out incase anyone was going to join in, then they would jump down warn them off.
i had been down there a few times. i lost once to this lad and i dont know why, i just bottled out because he was bigger than me and he was the oldest in the school, i think that blew my confidence. he just hit me a few times then walked off with his mates laughing because my nose started to bleed..
i walked back home with my best mate Paul and was asking me why i didnt fight back and that age wasn't everything an size didn't mean a thing either. so when i got home i told my mum that i would walk home again the next day as Paul mum had invited me for some tea. And so be it!!!
the next day this lad came up to me and asked me if i enjoyed my beating an i replyed
''it was ok, but i've had better'' well i had (my dad) he may have been the oldest in the school and bigger than me but he wasn't a 5'11'' 13stone alcoholic.... and because of my cheeky remark he asked if i wanted to tell my mum not to pick me up so we could fight and i turned round and said that i had already done it.... you should have seen his face. it was like david and galierth, and the fight was on.
at 3:30 when the bell went we all got ready fast and the whole school ran down to the jitty and lined up for the rematch, watchers at each end and older boys on the roofs ready to pounce,.
and that it , he grabbed me by the jumper and pulled it over my head so i couldnt see and began punching, even at a young age we were dirty fighters. so i took my jumper off and charged at him and practicaly close-lined him to the floor and started kicking in the face to keep him down and once he was completely on his back i couldn't stop , i had to be pulled off by my friend Paul because i was stamping on his face,. and that was that , he never hit me again infact i dont think i saw him for about a month at school.
then it was time to leave that school, and go to secondary school..
Nicholas Chamberlaine and we moved house to Exhall. but thats another story...................

Prologue.

It was a late night in Nuneaton town center and myself and close friend 'Shane' were leaveing a pub/club in the heart of the night spot. It had been a busy night going to different bars and clubs, chatting to every nice bird we could see. But as always, it came to an end.
So me and shane left towards the taxi rank and stopped at the same old bus stop to shade ourselfs from the rain and to perform the same old ''do a joint and wait for cab'' routein when shane decided he wanted a burger.. I tried to put him of the idea as i did not want to walk and get wet but he insisted, and i insisted to wait in the dry..
i watched him stagger up the road bumping into things and just thought to myself, 'why bother' and smiled.. just as he got to the burger bar, and still in view i noticed two lads who were once behind him on his staggering mission to the burger van had caught up with him and one was in front(person1) of shane with the other behind(person2)...
i thought to myself 'here we go!' and slowly started to walk up. I wasn't in any great rush as i new shane could handle himself even in that state.
buy the time i got there person2 had moved away a little in my direction, but didn't see me and person1 was still infront using theatening jestures with his hands. that was it! I was ready...
I walked straight past person2 and placed my hand on person1's chest to get my distance and as soon as he looked at me, 'BOOM' he took of in the air like Superman flying backwards and hit the deck hard and that sound of his head hitting the ground i will never forget.
then, turning quickly i grabbed with my right hand person2 who had come behind and 'BOOM' with my left. He also hit the deck but was not knocked out, but as he got on to his first knee slowly trying to get up i took one step back and again 'BOOM' i got him straight in the jaw with a size nine Rockport boot and that was it 'game over' i remember shane looking at me smiling and then both of us looking at two unconcious heaps on the floor...
That was the first time i had ever knocked someone out and i done it twice in the same night..
i felt good, it felt good! to have that control over someones state of mind, but that was just one occasion in my life where things got tuff and i had to make a dession, maybe not always 'right' or 'wrong' but just a way of life.. My life in the eyes of crime.